Automotive Jokes by ezAutoCare and easyAutoCare  
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From the side of the Road
EZAutoCare & EasyAutoCare 
Automotive & Driving Joke Pages:
This page is maintained by 
Jared Rothstein & Richard Jay Silverman
 
Here are a few jokes that we've collected from around the web. Enjoy!
 If you would like to contribute some of your own jokes or stories, please click here .
 
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Mock Florida Drivers Test
Found at: http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/6067/test.html
P.S. There's more there, you should check it out, very funny.

1. If you knowingly make a false statement on an application for a license or identification card, what can happen?
___ I can go to jail
___ I can be fined a lot of money
___ I can have the license revoked
___ The card will be incorrect

2. Can a person operate a farm tractor on a highway without a license?
___ Absolutely
___ Yes, but only temporarily
___ Not really
___ What's a tractor?

3. What is an acceptable form of identification to show the examiner when you apply for your first license or identification card?
___ Social Security card
___ License or identification card from another state
___ License of Identification from Florida
___ Belt Buckle 

4. If your name has been legally changed, how would you go about changing it on you license?
___ Go to the DMV within 30 days
___ Use White Out and a pen
___ Let the people at the Witness Protection Program take care of it
___ Doesn't matter 

5. If you loose your license and need a duplicate, what should you do?
___ Go to the DMV and pay for a new one to be made up
___ Go to the DMV and ask real nicely to have a new one made up
___ Go to the DMV and wait on line all day
___ Make a photocopy of the old one. 

6. If you failed to answer a trafic summons, would you be able to renew your license?
___ Yes
___ No
___ Not until next December
___ None of the above 

7. What is the result of accumulating 12 points within a 12-month period?
___ I'd get jail time and/or a fine
___ I'd get a cab license
___ I'd go on to the bonus round
___ Nothing would happen 

8. If you hit a parked car, and are unable to find the owner, what should you do?
___ Keep looking for the owner
___ Leave a note with my name and number
___ Leave a note with my boss's name and number
___ Find a good lawyer, because I'm going to get sued.

9. What side of the road do you drive on?
___ Left
___ Right
___ Center
___ Sidewalk

10. Can you park on a sidewalk?
___ Always
___ Never
___ Only if parking meters are present
___ If everyone else is doing it...... 

11. What should you do if you are driving on the highway and pass your exit?
___ Go on to the next exit and turn around there
___ Step on the brakes, shift the car into reverse, and go back to my exit
___ Make a U-turn and go back to my exit
___ Just do something else 

13. When should you use your headlights?
___ In the morning
___ When at work
___ When it's dark out
___ When I'm driving

14. What does a solid red light mean?
___ Stop
___ Go
___ Proceed with caution
___ Speed up 

15. What does a flashing red light mean?
___ Stop
___ Stop, then go
___ Go, then stop
___ The light's batteries are low

16. Who needs a class D license?
___ Those who operate trucks or trailers
___ Taxi drivers and chauffeurs
___ Those who ride bikes
___ Those who got a "D" in driver's ed.

17. What is an open intersection?
___ One with no traffic lights or stop signs
___ One that has no barricades
___ One that is not under construction
___ One that serves drinks 

18. What is "defensive driving"?
___ Driving as not to get in an accident
___ Driving as not to get in a fight
___ Driving as to win in a fight
___ Driving as not to offend

19. If four (4) people pull up to a four-way intersection, who goes first?
___ Whoever got there first
___ Whoever has the biggest car
___ Whoever has the biggest gun
___ Who said anything about stopping?

 
Check Out our previous Joke Pages
November 24, 1998 Joke Page Lots of Ford jokes. Don't be offended!  :)
November 12, 1998 Joke Page Buying a second hand car and a story about a Grand Cherokee.
September 1, 1998 Joke Page Another acronym, Internet as a super-highway and how to identify where drivers are from.
August 24, 1998 Joke Page Submitted acronyms and an originial joke by our own Richard Silverman.
August 21, 1998 Joke Page Lots of acronyms and what cars tell about people.
August 11, 1998 Joke Page Steven Wright Jokes and excuses that people gave to the police after an accident.
August 5, 1998 Joke Page Various jokes from people, a few cute bumperstickers, and some signs seen on the highway.
July 28, 1998 Joke Page Bumper stickers, more stickers, and yet more bumperstickers. Plus a couple of funny stories about Mini's.
July 20, 1998 Joke Page Doctor Demento song, Geo joke, and more Mini jokes of course!
July 13, 1998 Joke Page More Bible references, things NOT to say when being pulled over, a cute bumpersticker, and a list of jokes about Mini's.
July 6, 1998 Joke Page Another Yugo joke, a wife joke, and a bunch of jokes about Mini's.
June 29, 1998 Joke Page  Automotive bible mentions, more Yugo jokes, a snail joke, Bill Gates joke, running red lights and the death penalty, and a "You Know You're a VW Freak If..." list.
June 23, 1998 Joke Page Yugo joke, more jokes from TheMackXXX, a blonde joke and a porsche joke.
June 16, 1998 Joke Page The Old Dodge , Acronyms, a bunch of one-liners,  
Earnhardt TOP TEN LIST, A silly poem & more.
June 6, 1998 Joke Page How To Start An Alaska Car, Minnesota Winter Car Tips Punching Bag of gm  2-seat electric car,TIME IS ON MY DRIVER'S SIDE, The Top 20 Cool Things About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light
May 28, 1998 Joke Page  Definitions from Rich, real and not real stories, car acronyms, and some new joke sites.
May 20, 1998 Joke Page  A few one liners, some Ford jokes, disgruntled customers, and a letter from Silicon Valley.
May 19, 1998 Joke Page  Complaint Letter to Shell.  Bunch of My car was so big lines.  Sound off on Boston Driving.
May 12, 1998 Joke Page Rules of riding shotgun,  What your car thinks of you,  Insurance company as a car,  and a good radar joke.
May 5, 1998 Joke Page A few driving jokes, one-liners & more car company acronyms 
Original Joke Page Car company acronyms & (we shudder)   
What if microsoft and the auto industry combined 
Want more jokes? Than you should check out these guys.
5 StarHumor Site Well, if you can't find the automotive joke you want here, this is an absolutely great place to find the material you want. We highly reccomend it. Afterall, we're listed with them.
A great general joke site that we subscribe to.
 
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 Last Updated 5/17/98